(Because this page doesn’t have enough side dishes… Or potatoes… Or cheese).
I don’t know what it is about spring and Easter but for some reason I associate Au gratin (or cheesy scalloped potatoes to us less classy people) with this time of year.
It’s not like the Easter Bunny brings them in your basket or anything but I feel like it’s the side I want most on this holiday (also am I the only person who thinks a giant bunny breaking into your house to bring you chocolate shaped like him and who also lays chocolate eggs and hides them, is creepy? No? OK).
Scary bunny or otherwise, our ham or lamb (or whatever other rhyming protein you chose) needs a side and this one is it.
There are a lot of steps. You’re gonna get so annoyed with me. Is it worth it? Only time will tell.
Here is what you need:
-5 medium potatoes (I like the red ones since they are a little less starchy and softer which sounds like an insult but this is a true compliment here).
-2 medium onions.
-6 tbsp. butter (There is butter in every component of this dish. You’re SO welcome).
-1 tbsp. olive oil.
-3 tbsp. flour.
-3 cups skim milk (any milk is good here. I just only keep skim in the house. My husband drinks a lot of milk. This is how I keep him alive).
-4 oz. Sharp cheddar cheese shredded.
-4 oz. grated Parmesan cheese (plus another ¼ cup for the topping… spoiler alert, there is a topping!).
-1/2 tsp. salt (the cheese is salty so you can use less if you’re one of those people who doesn’t like salt. I mean I am definitely judging you but that’s on me).
-1/2 tsp. black pepper (You can use more if you’re like I am. But if you don’t like pepper, for which I am also judging you, you can also use less).
-1/8 tsp (so like “the idea of”) nutmeg (“but CCF, this is a strange place for nutmeg, what are you thinking???” you ask. Gurl trust me. It makes a difference… also no, I don’t assume you are female, I don’t care either way, everyone is “Gurl” to me. You can tell the difference because I spell all fun and wrong-like).
-½ cup bread crumbs (see? Topping!).
-1 tsp. dried chives.
-1 tsp. dried parsley.
OK now that you have purchased the entire grocery store let’s start step on.
Gang, we’re about to caramelize some onions. Don’t be scared. It’s simple. Time consuming, but simple.
Peel your two onions, and cut in half.
Thinly slice the onions into half-moon-like slices (only super technical terms here on this page).
In a saute pan, add 2 tbsp. butter and 1 tbsp. olive oil (all the fat… this is how you know it’s delicious) and turn the heat on low.
Add the sliced onions to the pan, making sure they are in a single layer covering the whole surface area.
Continue to cook on low for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. The onions will be brown and soft and sort of creamy when done (incidentally, creamy onions sound disgusting. I assure you they are not).
Set aside.
Topping Time.
In the same pan in which you cooked the onions (because who needs more dishes in life), melt 1 tbsp. butter (see more butter kids, this is not for the Paleo crowd!),add the ½ cup of bread crumbs, the 1 tsp. parsley, 1 tsp. chives and ¼ cup of Parmesan cheese.
Stir over low heat until toasted and brown (like an old broad on a Florida beach…).
Set this aside too.
(I told you there were a lot of steps. Hold on to your hat kids because we’re only half way through… and I’m not sorry. You won’t be either).
OK now take the 5 medium potatoes and wash the hell out of them. We’re not peeling these babies and the idea of dirt in your Au gratin offends me to my very core.
Once your potatoes are well washed (not a euphemism but pretty good life goals), slice them in disks about ¼ inch thick.
Guess what. We’re going to set these aside! Who would have guessed? Wild. Just wild.
OK team, now it’s time to make the cheese sauce. Don’t be scared. You’re going to have a lot of feelings when you see how glorious it is. These feelings are correct. You’re in a safe space.
Alright let’s do it.
In a medium sauce pan, melt 3 tbsp. butter over low heat (yup more butter. Don’t fight it. Just surrender).
Once the butter is just melted, add in the 3 tbsp. flour and whisk (because I assume you finally bought that whisk we talked about).
Cook the flour butter mixture (which will look like paste and this is OK), for about one minute. This gets the raw flour flavor out, which means it won’t be gross which is important in my humble opinion.
A half a cup at a time, add in the 3 and ½ cups of milk, stirring until incorporated fully, before adding the next half cup.
Note: the key is to keep it moving and allow the flour and butter to absorb the milk and prevent lumps.
Once all the milk is fully blended, pat yourself on the back because this is really the only challenging part of making a “rue” (which is the base for all gravies and cheese sauces! SURPRISE!!! You can make all the things now!!!).
Allow to simmer on low heat until it starts to thicken up (kind of like me during the holidays).
Once the mixture is thick and creamy (creamy being another word that sort of creeps me out), add in the 4 oz. sharp cheddar cheese and the ½ cup of grated Parmesan cheese. Add ½ tsp salt, ½ tsp (or more. because you’re amazing) black pepper and that whisper (or 1/8 tsp.) of nutmeg (which again is not weird I promise).
Mix together until the cheese is fully melted. Stop and marvel at the cheese sauce you just created. Taste to make sure the salt level is good. Now you’re going to want to (drum roll please……) SET. IT. ASIDE!!!! (Queue Wheel of Fortune music now!).
OK guys! We’re in the home stretch now. It’s all about to come together. Let’s build this bad boy.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Spray a casserole dish with cooking spray (I use a glass 6 X 8 pan but you can use a bigger one and just do one layer. I’ll be flexible with this one. It’s rare so enjoy it now).
Note: the number of layers will affect the cook time. Less layers, less time. Science.
Lay one layer of potatoes at the bottom of the pan (I add a little salt and pepper to the potatoes, because they beg for salt like I beg for wine… but if your cheese sauce is on the saltier side you can omit it).
On top of the sliced potatoes, spread those sweet, delicious caramelized onions (that made your whole house smell like onions when you cooked them… causing you to run through all of your candles trying to de-onion your house) evenly over the potatoes.
Ladle half the cheese sauce over the top of the onions (Warning. This is going to be sexy, it’s just the nature of cheese sauce).
Lay the rest of the potatoes on top of this and pour the remainder of the sexy cheese sauce over it all.
Note: try and push any uncovered potatoes into the sauce for more even cooking (we’re offended by uneven cooking obviously).
Cover with tin foil, place the casserole on top of a cookie sheet (because cheese sauce dripped on the bottom of your oven will smoke out the entire house, especially if you spilled a good amount checking on the potatoes because you thought you could remove them with one hand and you’re simply not that strong… Or something like that…) and baked covered for about 35 to 40 minutes.
Remove from the oven (using two hands because trust me) and remove the tin foil. Check the potatoes for doneness. If they are still a little firm (the opposite of my abs) place back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
At this time, once again check the potatoes to see if they are “fork tender” (good band name) which at this time they should be (if not add back for a few more minutes).
Pour the bread crumb topping evenly on top of the potatoes and add back to the oven for about 7 minutes or until gold brown and bubbly (the opposite of my personality).
Allow to cool for about 15 minutes (room temp is great too) and serve with your favorite main course, or just eat it out of the pan with a fork. Either way it’s delicious.
Phew! You made it! Was that so bad??? You know what, don’t answer that. Just enjoy!
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