(Because I didn’t have time to test a food recipe this week and felt the need to feel your judgey eyes watching me).
If you follow my social media at all (like the cool kids do), it’s clearly no secret that my two liquid-loves are wine and coffee.
Since I don’t want to water down my wine and make sangria and since the weather is cooling down a bit and since I personally consider coffee a meal in its own right, I decided to share one of my (humble brag, because that’s what I do) creative coffee concoctions (mmmmmm alliteration is soooo goood… or should I say sooo sweet…. Ohhh yeah that’s better...).
Death by Chocolate Iced (or hot, just eliminate the ice and heat the milk which, is easier than you think because we have microwaves n’ shit) Cappuccino not only looks impressive (which we like) but is super easy (which we like even more).
Here is what you need.
-4 oz. Brewed coffee. Dark (like my soul). Espresso is the preference (The key is to brew it strong enough that it can stand up to ice meltage (not a word but whatever). If you go the hot rout you can hold back on the darkness… unlike me…).
-1 tbsp. (for the milk) plus 1 tsp. (for decoration) Chocolate sauce (the good kind like for ice cream. If you don’t have that the sad, thin syrup will do. I’m putting my foot down and chocolate powder though. No. Just no.)
-4 oz. skim milk (you can use whole fat if you prefer and have no stomach limitations like the rest of us… good for you).
NOTE: if you chose to do a hot version you would either microwave this or gently bring to a low simmer in a pan and then turn off immediately).
OK let’s assemble this bitch.
Brew your 4 oz. (or so) coffee directly over ice if possible, adding more ice if needed when done (because it’s an iced coffee remember? NOT a kinda cold coffee with weird ice flecks in it…).
In a separate container (like the glass frother you acquired when you bought your fancy Ninja Coffee Bar) OR a glass measuring cup or something, add 1 tbsp. of (good because we’re adults here… kinda) chocolate sauce.
Add the 4 oz. skim (or whole fat because you’re a beast) milk to the chocolate and stir (vigorously because if there are lumps imma hate you) until all of the chocolate is blended into the milk (and it looks super sexy and you kinda wanna drink it right there but you won’t because then you will have to start again).
Using a frother (because you’re cool enough to have one like I do) OR an immersion blender (because you’re a cool enough to have one like I do) OR a regular blender (because COME ON ALREADY!), froth for about 10-14 seconds until your milk is foamy but not too stiff (there is a joke here by I can’t find it).
NOTE: I don’t know what else to call the milk frothy thingy but the Spell Check hates the word frother and says it doesn’t exist. I say hey Spell Check! Suck it! It exists here and now!
Slowly pour the (sexy, sexy looking) chocolate-milk-foam over the top of your iced espresso (which I have to assume you have on ice in a glass, even of that wasn’t clear to begin with because I’m an asshole but I’m not sorry enough to fix it... I like to use a Mason jar glass because I am pretentious and it makes it artisanal).
WARNING: this is something to behold. TRY to contain yourself. It’s gonna be OK.
Drizzle the remaining tsp. over the top of that (sexy, sexy looking) chocolate-milk-foam to make it look even sexier.
Walk out of the kitchen and drink in front of others to make them jealous because you have one and they don’t.
Get mad when they bug you so much that you have to go make them some.
NOTE: when this happens, just brew a larger portion of espresso and mix a larger portion of milk (even though I just wrote basically an entire post about adding chocolate milk to coffee and telling you how it’s done and passing it off as a recipe, I don’t feel I ACTUALLY need to tell you how to brew coffee and make chocolate milk so I think you will be fine… and if you’re not, you may be beyond my scope of help).
NOTE: adding a little salt to the chocolate sauce before blending takes the over the top. I’m telling you this here at the end of the recipe as yet another in reading an entire recipe before cooking or brewing or whatever the hell this is!
Enjoy your caffeinated goodness my pretties!
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