OK Kids. I figured the inaugural blog post for this site should be seasonal or whatever so here goes!
For the last several years, I have taken to hosting a Christmas Eve open house. This has involved a whole lot of trial, and a lot more error. Here are some do's and don'ts that will make you look fa la la-amazing. (oof, that was cheesy, and I have no regrets)
Don'ts:
Don't take on too much.
Yes, you want to feed people, but a huge meal is completely time consuming, stressful and unnecessary. You still have gifts to wrap (obsessively, even though no one actually cares what they look like) , you still have wassailing to do (whatever the hell that actually is), halls to deck, and all that nonsense. So avoid the pressure of roast goose and chestnut stuffing. This isn't 1843 London, after all.
Don't take on too little:
Sure, an evening of chips, dips and hot hors d'oeuvres sounds like a cinch, but let me tell you this:No matter how much people pretend not to be hungry, when there are cocktails involved (and you know there are) some olives and a cheese plate are not going to cut it.
Don't spend all night tending bar:
It's your party enjoy it if you want to!" Just wine and beer is perfectly acceptable. Have other selections if you choose, but if they're old enough to drink they are old enough to mix their own martini!
Don't run out of "pigs-in-a-blanket":
I cannot stress the importance of this one enough. People LOVE a pig in a blanket! I mean, they lose their minds over them. It's actually nuts. The rule of thumb here is: If you think you've made enough, you're super wrong. I usually go through two packs of those "lil' smokies" and one box of puffed pastry, and run out every time. (and since I like you so much, I'm gonna tell you how I make them later!).
Don't stress it:
It's a party, kids, it's supposed to be fun. I mean that's what they tell us, anyway. Maybe things will go wrong. Maybe the will be perfect. At the end of the day, it's not life or death. People are there to see you, and each other (but mostly you because please). As much as we condescending control freaks strive for perfection, rolling with those punches is what makes it so spectacular!
Do's
Do set up a simple buffet:
A casual buffet of sandwiches, whether the contents are store bought or homemade are always a big hit. Go to a local bakery and buy a variety of pies, both sweet and savory. Now you have a theme! Set up slow-cookers with soups and make a big giant salad. Offer a variety of toppings and a basket of rolls. I'm telling you people go bonkers for it. (and you've literally done nothing...well figuratively, but I needed dramatic liberty there).
Do set up a pasta bar:
We're taking that aforementioned buffet and making it whimsical. Calling something a "bar" makes your guests feel like it's something special. I have no ever-loving clue why, but heck, who am I to begrudge my guests of whimsy?
There are some rules to follow here, but I can assure you it's minimal work, and my guests RAVED about it:
1. It's Okay-nay, encouraged- to use boxed pasta. Cook it al dente (with a little bite to it) because it will be sitting out. Boxed pasta when cooked correctly is very forgiving (and it cooks in 9 minutes!!!).
2. Have options, but not too many. I like to do three different pastas (a noodle, a macaroni of some sort, and gnocchi) with three different sauces (a red sauce, a cream or lemon based sauce, and pesto).
3. Use jarred sauce and tweak it to make it your own. It's totally acceptable. My only exception to this rule is the pesto. It's not hard to make at all, and it's SO SO SO SO much better fresh(since I'm so generous here is the link!https://www.thecondescendingcontrolfreak.com/home/impress-your-friends-pesto ). For the jarred sauces, I like to add cream cheese, lemon juice, and crushed red pepper to jarred Alfredo. I like to add wine, sauteed onions, and fresh herbs (basil, parsley, rosemary) to jarred marinara. The key here is taste as you add.
4. Set up sides and toppings. I personally like to do a slow-cooker of meatballs in red sauce, and some sauteed Italian sausage slices. You could add shrimp, or chicken. I like to leave these on the side and people can mix and match as they see fit (You can buy these froze to save some time, you can make these ahead, OR you could even so a little of both). Your guests will love love love all of their options, and you as a result.
5. Make a big salad. Make a simple vinaigrette. Add some bread sticks or rolls or (gasp!) frozen garlic bread on the side. You're done in no time!!!
6. Go have a glass of wine. You deserve it.
Do premix a signature cocktail:
Punch bowls are back in, kids, and I am here for it! Toss in some cranberry juice or apple cider, add your favorite hard liquor. Throw in some sliced fruit, and POOF! you're not bartending all night. (you could even freeze some water, dried cranberries, and fresh rosemary in a bunt pan, and now you have a frozen wreath ice cube, and you look like Martha Stewart!)
It's also good to have a white and a red wine available, and perhaps a small beer selection.
Do set up a bar and walk away:
Gin, Vodka, Whiskey, Rum. Those are the basics, and you can go from there. Sweet and dry Vermouth for martinis and Manhattans. Tonic water, and club soda for mixing. Limes and lemons, perhaps some cherries. and that's it. If they can't make it from that, they can't have it. The end.
Do make SO many pigs-in-a-blanket:
OK kids it's this simple.
Ingredients:
Two packages of cocktail hot dogs or sausages
One box of frozen (thawed) puffed pastry
Everything bagel seasoning, or poppy seeds (optional)
One egg
Remove your sausages from their packaging and pat dry (hehehe that sounds absurd).
Cut your thawed puffed pastry sheets into very small strips (use your judgment here. just enough to wrap around the teeny sausages).
Wrap all the sausages in the pastry, placing seam side down on a parchment covered baking sheet.
Continue this process until all the sausages are covered.
In a small bowl, mix your one egg and a splash of water.
Using a brush or the back of a spoon (but get a brush kids, they're helpful) brush the egg/water mixture on top of your pig-in-blankets (I believe that's grammatically correct).
Sprinkle your choice of everything bagel seasoning or poppy seeds on top.
Bake in a 375-degree oven for 30-35 minutes, or until golden brown.
Serve with a variety of mustard.
Do know how to make a cheeseboard.
You guys! It's SO easy! Three cheeses (one hard, one semi-soft, and one soft), some crackers, some mustard, or honey, and a garnish. Add pickles, or cured meats. Add fruits or jams. Place on a cutting board. and voila! You're fancy now.
Do Make time to enjoy yourself.
Christmas is pretty much the best ever. Keep it simple. Only invite people you like. That's really it.
Use fancy disposable plates and cups (they make such cute ones now). This means you have minimal dishes. Keep it to a few food items that are filling and easy. We may be condescending control freaks, but it doesn't mean we have to burn out. We still have Christmas Day to survive!
Merry Christmas!!!
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