Because lists are soothing, and the holidays are not...
We're in full holiday mode around here,
this means I'm gonna cook stuff and pretend it makes an amazing present.
If a person shows up to a gathering with homemade treats, the host is never going to complain... At least not to your face. They may wait until after you leave, but you're gone now. It can't be helped.
Here is a list of homemade gift ideas for your viewing pleasure.
Cookies
Yes, I know what you're thinking. Cookies do seem obvious. Did you ever stop to think however that maybe it's cliché for a reason? Flour, butter, and sugar. Slap a bow on it, and Merry Christmas!
Try making these! https://www.thecondescendingcontrolfreak.com/thecondescendingcontrolfreak/espresso-chocolate-chip-cookies
Breads
From pumpkin, to banana, to date-nut, who doesn't love a little loaf of deliciousness. It's just so darn charming. I mean let's not go around handing out loaves of Wonder Bread or anything. I know you get what I am saying.
Your Nuts
Now, now guys get those minds out of the gutter! You know full well I mean. Try roasting some cashews with a little, maple, chili powder and rosemary. Or perhaps some almonds with black pepper and truffle salt. Who wouldn't enjoy some brown sugar pecans. The possibilities are endless, as will be their gratitude.
Fudge
Three Ingredients to start. Anything else you want to add. minimal work, maximum praise! We're here for this.
This year I made Specullos (Cookie Butter) swirl, and Smore's fudge. They are pretty, and delicious and required no effort. So little effort, that I (as a Condescending Control Freak) feel guilty. To make up for this, I will share the instructions with you now.
Ingredients:
-Two cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips
-One 14 Oz. can of sweetened condensed milk (NOT the similar looking can of evaporated milk)
-1 Tsp. vanilla extract
-1/2 Tsp. Salt.
-Whatever the hell else you wanna add.
(For the Smore's fudge: 1/2 package of graham crackers. and 1 cup mini marshmallows).
(For the Specullos (again that's cookie butter, and it's delicious dammit! 1/4 cup melted cookie butter)
Instructions:
- In a medium sauce pan, add your 2 cups chocolate chips, 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, and 1/2 tsp. of salt.
- Turn heat on medium low and stir, stir, stir, until all the chocolate is melted, and the ingredients are combined.
- (For the Smore's fudge: turn heat off, and add 1 cup of mini marshmallows).
- Line a small square cake pan with tinfoil, and spray with non-stick cooking spray.
- (For the Smore's fudge: place 1 single layer of the graham crackers at the bottom of the pan).
- Pour the mixture into the greased pan.
- (For the Specullos/Cookie Butter fudge: Microwave the 1/4 cup cookie butter, and pour on top of the chocolate mixture. Using a toothpick, swirl around to distribute and make pretty). (Yes, making it look pretty is part of it! You eat with your eyes people! Don't disappoint me).
Allow to set at room temperature, Slice into small squares, and package with a pretty bow!
Homemade Cheese Crackers:
You guys! YOU GUYS!!! I make these all the time. I bring them to work and people cannot get enough. As I stated previously, I made them for a cheese party and they were a huge hit.
People lost their ever-loving-minds over these crackers! I mean I'm going to be very honest with you here, I don't even know if I get it. They're very yummy, yes. They're simple to make, sure. But I'm pretty sure I could make nothing but these for the rest of my life, and people would still stand in line for them.
The recipe is easy. You can roll them out, and cut them into squares like the fun boxed kind, or you can slice and bake them like I did here. https://www.thecondescendingcontrolfreak.com/thecondescendingcontrolfreak/a-gouda-idea
You can swap out the cheeses. Cheddar, Pepper Jack (my personal favorite) and even blue cheese! Whatever you chose you will NOT be wrong! We love not being wrong around here (it's pretty much the only option).
I hope this list of nonsense is helpful to you over the holidays or even when you have to go to a dinner party and you don't want to show up empty handed (because you're a decent human, and not in fact an animal).
Merry Christmas!
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