(Because I couldn’t decide which flavor I wanted)
Guys. Let me start off by saying the basic brownie recipe will sound familiar.
Yes. It’s the same base recipe as my Rock Road Brownies.
Yes. I may wind up repeating jokes in this post.
Yes. That may come across as lazy.
No. It’s not.
The key is to have one good base recipe for things like brownies and cookies and then sass them up as you see fit. Then you look impressive and people think you’re a kitchen goddess and you will let them and it’s nice.
SO let me remind you what old ingredients you need AND what new ingredients you need and stuff.
-2 Sticks of butter (guess what! These don’t have to be softened. Were gonna melt them. I know right?).
-2 and ¼ Cups sugar (because we’re bitter and need to compensate for it).
-1 Tbsp. vanilla extract.
-4 Eggs (beaten…. You guessed it like my spirit).
-1 Tsp. salt (the regular kind. I specify this because we’re also gonna use sea salt later. Spoiler alert!).
-I Tsp. baking powder (this is the one in the can and not the kind in the orange box. I always need to specify to make myself feel better).
-1 Tsp. instant espresso powder (this is optional but I mean… please).
-1 and ½ Cups all-purpose flour (I have nothing to add here).
-1 and ¼ Cups cocoa powder (the unsweetened bitter kind. Much like myself).
-1 Bag of semi-sweet (because we’re not monsters) chocolate chips.
-1 Bag of caramels (you know the kind you buy at Halloween that are little cubes and are individually wrapped? And yeah you’re gonna wanna unwrap all of those which takes forever and is so annoying but so is life and at least this way there are brownies at the end).
-1/4 Cup milk (any kind you have that comes from a cow. Which I specify because I don’t know how nut milks would do here… and yes. “Nut milks” may be one of the vilest phrases I’ve ever uttered).
-½ Cup chunky peanut butter (chunky because I’m chunky and it makes me feel better).
1 Tsp. course sea salt (see I told you!).
OK. Let’s make some stuff.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees (because that’s how we do kids).
Take all of your unwrapped caramel squares and place them into a microwave safe bowl with ¼ cup milk.
Microwave for 2 and ½ to 3 minutes until melted stir until completely incorporated and set aside to cool.
In a large bowl sift (because we do that remember?) together the 1 and ½ cup flour, 1 and ¼ cup cocoa powder, 1 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. baking powder and 1 tsp. espresso powder and mix together.
Set this aside.
In a small sauce pan, melt two sticks of butter over medium-low heat.
Once the butter is melted, add 2 and ¼ cup sugar and stir constantly (which is exhausting or whatever but necessary so the sugar doesn’t burn) for two minutes.
Remove from heat immediately and allow to cool for three minutes or so (this recipe requires patience. Be OK with it. Remember, the end result is brownies. We are the people who will wait for brownies).
While that (luscious, sexy) butter-sugar situation cools, add four eggs and 1 tbsp. vanilla extract to a small container and beat (into submission) or until well blended or something.
Add the (luscious, sexy) butter-sugar situation into a mixer (because you have one of those too) and start to mix on low.
One scoop at a time, add your dry (like my wit) ingredients to the (luscious, sexy) butter-sugar-situation (and yes, imma keep calling it that) until it is combined and looks dry and unpleasant (much like my skin in the winter).
NOTE: don’t worry! This may look unpleasant and dry but we’re about to fix it! You really need to have more faith in me.
Add your well beaten egg-vanilla mixture to the sad, dry, crumbly mixture and blend until all incorporated.
Feel instant regret for ever having doubted me, when you realize your batter is now glorious and more luscious and sexy than the butter-sugar situation.
Know I will eventually forgive you for doubting me but only if you promise never to doubt me again.
Add in the bag of semi-sweet (because we’re not monsters... and remember we love redundancy here) chocolate chips and mix some more.
Pour your (luscious, sexy) batter into a (9X13 or the closest thing you have to that) baking dish that you lined with tinfoil (so it’s folded over the sides to enable easy removal) and sprayed with cooking spray.
Don’t get mad at me for forgetting to tell you to line and grease a pan earlier.
Spread the batter evenly in the pan making sure it’s level (unlike my mood).
Scoop dollops of the (super sexy) caramel sauce you made earlier, randomly all over the top of your batter. Using a knife or spatula, swirl the caramel into the brownies making it look all sassy n’stuff.
Place the ½ cup chunky (like me) peanut butter in the microwave for about 20 seconds just to soften it a little.
Scoop dollops of the chunky (like me) peanut butter randomly all over the top of the brownies and repeat the same sassy, swirly situation.
Bake the brownies for 35-40 minutes.
NOTE: I set my timer to 30 and checked it every 5 minutes until a toothpick came out almost clean. These are really fudgy so it won’t be completely clean and that’s ok (we like our brownies dirty… eek!).
With 5 minutes left, remove from the oven and add a small amount of course sea salt to the top because we like a little salt with our sweet (it balances us and we all need balance).
Allow to cool completely before cutting. I mean when you think they’re cool enough, they aren’t and keep letting them cool. These MUST be fully set up or they WILL fall apart and you will blame me even though it was you who didn’t listen and why do I have to take the blame for your oversite really???
Cut into small pieces and share with people you like.
If you’re like me, and enjoy very few people there will be more for you!
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