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Portuguese Sweet Bread Pudding

(Because we had leftovers). 



Happy New Year Readers (or should I say reader... Hi mom! … … I joke! My mom doesn’t read either... omg I’m so funny today)! 



It’s New Year's Eve kids, and before you get properly shitted tonight, why not take a minute out and make tomorrows hangover brunch today? 



I mean who wouldn’t want to crawl out of bed all hungover, pop a dish in the oven, lay back down for 35-40 minutes or so, and then eat a warm delicious bread pudding that is going to soak up all of that alcohol and hopefully make you feel world’s better???  If there is such a person, I don’t want to know them! 



OK! Enough chit chat, we have a brunch to prepare, we have champagne do drink, let’s get to it! 



Here is what you need:




-1 large loaf of Portuguese sweet bread (what’s that you say??? You don’t have access to such a glorious ingredient??? Wow. That sucks for you. It's amazing. Well, if you can't get your hands on this deliciousness, you can substitute 2 packages on King’s Hawaiian rolls, or a loaf of Challah bread), cut into large cubes. 







-½ Stick of melted butter.



-2 Cups of skim milk (this is in NO way a diet dish, but as stated over and over, I only keep skim milk in the house, and you should keep judgments to yourself, OK? Love you!). 



-5 Eggs (large, not large, brown, white, we don’t care. Whatever eggs you have will be just fine. Stop overthinking it). 



-2 Tsp. vanilla extract (the real kind. Don’t cheap out on me here. We cannot abide by imitation vanilla. And yes! I know how “pinky out” I sound. And yes! I’m OK with it).



-½ cup of granulated sugar (which is just a fancy way of saying regular sugar). 



-¼ cup brown sugar (which is in my opinion the best sugar... and my opinion matters most). 



-1/8 Tsp. Salt (because everything is better with a little salt. I should know! I’m the saltiest person I know!). 



-1 Tsp. Cardamom (what??? You don’t have cardamom? Well it’s trending hard kids so better get on that train now. Also, it’s just super delicious).



-1 Tsp. Nutmeg (This can be a bit strong. You can add less. I’ll allow it this time). 



-2 Tsp. Cinnamon (WE LOVE CINNAMON! We can add more if we want. I’ll allow it here also). 



-1-2 healthy splashes of some sort of creamy liqueur (I used a Portuguese custard liqueur, but you could use RumChata or something similar. You could also omit it altogether, but like why?).


OK! Let’s bake! 




  • Preheat your oven to 350 degrees (it’s the same cook temp to toast the bread as it is to bake the pudding, so it’s easy to remember for those of us who can't remember shit ever).



  • Spread out the cubed bread on a parchment (or silpat) lined baking sheet (and refrain from snacking, it’s gonna be hard, but it will be worth it in the end so let’s implement some self-control just this once). 







  • Drizzle (which is the sexier version of pouring) the ½ stick melted butter over all of the bread (and once again, refrain from snacking. I know we just took this already delicious bread, and added butter, thus making it ever better, but we’re on a mission here team, a custardy, bready, brunch mission). 



  • Bake the bread in the oven for about 15 minutes or so, until slightly dried and golden brown. 

NOTE: We dry out the bread first for two reasons (yes. Believe it or not, there is a method to my madness. I know it’s shocking). 1. Dried bread soaks up the custard better. 2. it allows for a better texture. This could easily end up moooooshy (technical term), and we just can't stand for that. WE ARE BETTER THAN MOOOOSHY BREAD PUDDING. Sing it loud!



  • Once the bread is toasted, add it to a greased casserole dish, or baking pan and set it aside to cool.







  • While the toasted bread is cooling (perhaps in another room, because the toasted bread is even better for snacking, and we really need to control ourselves, so we see and end result), we can make the custard. 



  • In a large bowl, beat the 5 eggs (this is a good time to get out that end of the year aggression, beat those eggs to release all the bad 2019 juju!), with the 2 cups of milk. 



  • Once well beaten (phew! That was helpful right?!), add in both the ½ cup granulated sugar, and the (even better) ¼ cup brown sugar, and mix again until the sugar is mostly (if not completely) dissolved (YAY! More tension release!). 



  • Add in the 2 tsp. (REAL) vanilla extract, the 1/8 tsp. Salt, 1 tsp. Cardamom, 1 tsp. Nut meg, 2(ish) tsp. Cinnamon, and the splash or two of the creamy liqueur of your choosing. Mix until well combined. 







  • Once the bread is cool to the touch (this is important because of the bread is right out of the oven, the heat could scramble your eggs, making your bread pudding lumpy and weird and I will in fact be pissed at you), pour the custard all over the bread, making sure you cover every piece. 



  • Press down with your hands (yes. It's messy. Yes. It's necessary. Be OK with this), making sure every piece of bread has touched the custard (which is a really weird sentence to have just typed...).



  • Cover with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for at least an hour. The longer it sits, the better it is. 



  • Go out, and celebrate the end of 2019, and the beginning of 2020 (being responsible. Don’t be assholes people. It's unbecoming). 



  • When ready to bake (I assumed this is when you’re finally able to lift your head off the pillow without the room spinning), place in a (PREHEATED) oven at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes, until golden brown on top. 



Serve with whipped cream and cinnamon.

Serve with maple syrup and bacon. 


Serve with ice cream. 


Serve with mimosas or boozy coffee (hair of the dog is real kids). 


Eat out of the pan and then go back to bed while it soaks up the booze and makes you better. 







No matter how you do it, enjoy it! 



Happy New Year my gorgeous pals!!! 

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