(Because who doesn’t want sweet and spicy nuts)?
We made it through Thanksgiving like the boss bitches that we are (men and women alike… we’re all bitches here).
We’re getting ready to deck those halls, trim those trees and “Go a wassailing”… whatever the hell that means.
With all of this festive decking, trimming, and wassailing, comes baking, cooking and gifting.
This is where I come in. I mean clearly people love edible gifts or we all wouldn’t do it right??? Hmmm… we do all do it… crap! I hate being unoriginal! It doesn’t speak to my inner narcissist even a little!
Well luckily for me (and now you by extension) I’m gonna teach you a mindlessly simple recipe that will make the perfect stand-out addition to your fancy (I assume its fancy… I hope it’s fancy… it better be fancy!), homemade gift basket!
Here is what you need.
NOTE: This is per batch. Feel free to double and triple as needed. These things go fast!
-1 Lb. (16 oz.) raw Cashews (you can use other nuts if you wish, I just really like cashews. Hell you can mix your nuts if you’re feeling festive enough!!! Go wild you hussy! It’s the holidays).
-5 Tbsp. maple syrup (the good kind. The real kind. DO NOT use pancake syrup? We go through this this every time! Stop it!).
-1 Tbsp. Olive oil.
-3 Tbsp. (be generous. It’s the time of year for generosity or something like that, so maybe don’t level off your spoon) brown sugar.
-1 Tbsp. dried (get the chopped kind trust me), Rosemary (I tried this with fresh. This is one of those times where freshness isn’t better… Kind like when I’m fresh to people around me…otherwise known as always).
-1 Tsp. Salt (more or less is fine depending on your taste. LESS if you accidentally bought salted cashews like I did that one time).
-1/4 Tsp. pepper (which isn’t necessary, but I love pepper so shut up).
-1/4 to 1/8 Tsp. cayenne pepper (this depends on how hot you like you nuts… hehehe).
OK. Time to put this shit together and call it cooking! I love when we look fancy doing little to no work!!! It’s my special skill!
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (because we do that here if you recall, which you should because I am so memorable and so is everything I say ever).
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (or you will regret it… and I really mean that... unless you like ruined pans).
Spray your parchment with non-stick cooking spray (which seems like a stupid move but it’s not I assure you, and when will you start trusting me already?!).
In a large bowl, add the 1 lb. cashews and set aside (perhaps it didn’t need this to be an instruction but hey, this is my blog so yeah…).
In a smaller bowl (or a nice glass measuring cup for those of us who are fancy), add the 5 tbsp. maple syrup, 1 tbsp. olive oil, 3 (generous because Christmas) tbsp. brown sugar, the 1/4-1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper (depending on your nut-hotness preferences), 1 tbsp. (dry like my wit, and or martini… I will reuse this joke til the end of time) rosemary, the 1 tsp. salt, and the ½ tsp. pepper.
Mix all of the ingredients until the cashews are well coated (I can’t think of anything funny to say here soooo I’m not gonna).
Dump (technical term) the coated nuts (hehehe filthy) onto the prepared baking sheet, and bake for 10-15 minutes.
Remove from oven and DO NOT TOUCH!!! OUCH BAD! NO! Until completely cool.
Store in an air tight container. Put them in a mason jar and make them look all folksy and artisan.
Hide them from other people until it’s time to share.
Enjoy them all by yourself… give them as a gift if you must. Whatever works for you…
ENJOY!
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