(Because we always need fun new ways to eat cheese).
Guys!
You know how I love making food that is mindlessly easy, but impresses people, and then teach you how to make it so you can impress people, but the only people who see these recipes are people who know me, so really all I am doing is blowing up my own spot?
Well, it’s time for another one!
I really should just keep it a secret… … … meh!
We’re gonna jump right in and get our ingredients.
-Portobello mushrooms (I used 4 because that was what came in the package, but this recipe could easily be doubled… like a shot of whiskey…).
-1 Cup mozzarella cheese (use the shredded kind here because it’s dry like the vermouth in my martini, and we don’t want a soggy mushroom, which is just such an offensive thing to have typed).
-½ Cup Parmesan cheese (not that powdered shit, we can’t impress people with fake cheese! Unless we’re cutting up hot dogs and putting them in boxed mac and cheese, because that shit is delicious).
-1 can of diced tomatoes (yes canned, because as the commercials have told us, they are picked and canned at the height of their ripeness, and not all weird and mealy and gross like tomatoes are unless you pick them and eat them immediately), drained thoroughly (because again we cannot abide by a soggy mushroom, and I shudder every time I type that).
NOTE: I used basil, garlic diced tomatoes, fire roasted would also be good. Who doesn’t want more flavor? Pffft. Please.
-1 package of thinly sliced prosciutto (because it’s friggen yummy and should really always be around).
-Fresh basil for garnish (Yeah, I said fresh, and NO you’re not gonna use it all, so maybe you’ll have to make my pesto recipe with the leftovers or whatever).
-Olive oil (for oiling on the mushrooms which sounds profane, but I promise this one time it isn’t).
-Salt and pepper (I will let you use your discretion here).
Let’s get to stuffin some mushrooms (which totally sounds like a euphemism and isn’t but hehehehehe).
Preheat your oven to 375 (there are two oven temps in this recipe, you’ve been warned).
On a parchment lined baking sheet lay out those (sexy) thin layers of prosciutto (which can we all agree is such a pain in the ass to peel from there packaging???).
Bake for 15 minutes (you will know they are done, because they will be darker and the fat will have browned and they will smell amazing and you will wanna eat them immediately but you can’t because they are hot and you will burn your mouth and this clearly is the run on sentence recipe but I can’t seem to stop because it’s the mood I am in today and you’re getting this great recipe for free so shut up!).
While the prosciutto is crisping (aka making your house smell amazing), use a damp paper towel to clean the portobellos (why didn’t I just call them this all along and avoid any vulgar mushroom phrasing?).
Use a spoon to remove the gills and stems (you’re basically making a little nest for cheese soooo yeah do what you gotta do).
Brush mushrooms with olive oil and sprinkle with pepper (NOT SALT).
NOTE: We will salt the “portobellos” once cooked but salt brings out moisture and we don’t want more moisture for reasons mentioned prior).
Place the “portobellos” stem side down on a parchment lined baking sheet (buy parchment paper guys, it’s so helpful).
Remove the prosciutto from the oven and set aside to cool.
Change the oven temp to 400 degrees (see! I warned ya!).
Once the oven reaches this temp, bake the “portobellos” (yeah that’s so much classier), for 10 minutes.
Once out of the oven, dab with a paper towel and change out the parchment paper (to avoid soggy “portobellos”).
Sprinkle both sides of the “portobello” with salt and pepper and lay them down stem side up (remember cheese nest).
Add half the mozzarella, and half the parm (divided evenly. The control freak in me assumes you may not have realized that, thus I’m going to explain it to you condescendingly which means I live up to my name, AND gives us another run on sentence!!!), to each.
Divide the drained diced tomatoes amongst the 4 mushrooms (shit! Sorry) “portobellos”, and top each with the remaining cheese.
Top each with 1 or 2 leaves of that fresh basil you graciously bought.
Return to the oven for 2-3 minutes (until the cheese has melted and is singing its cheesy siren song to you).
Take the cooled crispy prosciutto, and pat off excess oil with a paper towel, and crush up into small pieces (snacking on it the whole time, but making sure you have left enough to use in on the “portobellos”).
Top the stuffed portobellos (or cheese nests if you will), with the crispy prosciutto and serve.
NOTE: These are also really good at room temp and are a great party food, not that we can have parties because the world is still on fire. But hey! At least we have treats!
Serve to your besties while drinking wine and playing a super awesome game where you are all detectives and get to search clues to find a killer…. Or ya know at some way less awesome gathering or whatever…
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