(Because it’s summer in New England… supposedly…)
We had two days of super amazing weather over Memorial Day Weekend which is pretty much what spring around here consists of.
Two days of 80 degree amazingness followed by an indeterminate amount of cold rainy days that last until you can’t take it anymore and then poof! 95 degrees with 95 percent humidity. Aghh yes. There is NOTHING like summer in New England.
So I for one have decided to demand it get it’s ass in gear! Imma harken summer with one of my favorite summer recipes! And you can’t stop me, so do even try! Why? Because I’m a control freak obviously.
For those of you who aren’t part of the New England Cool Kids Club, allow me to explain to you just what a quahog is.
Webster’s Dictionary describes a quahog as “a thick shelled edible clam of the US." They are a common fare here in my neck of the woods.
I prefer to describe them as "big-ass clams that, which when prepared correctly, are the essence of all that is good in the seafood world (and when prepared incorrectly, are chewy, and weird… mmmmmmmmm)."
OK enough with the small talk! God! You’re all SO chatty and we have quahogs to stuff!
Here is what you will need.
-2 lbs. (12 or so depending on the size) Quahogs (if you can’t find quahogs regular hard shelled clams will do. Little neck clams will not work here. This is one of those rare instances where having a “little neck” is a disadvantage. The shells of those clams are flaky (like me on an off day) and not fit for stuffing (like me on an off day).
-1 baguette (stick bread or whatever the hell you call it), torn into lots and lots of chunks (which is my new nickname).
-1/2 Lb. thick cut bacon (Again an instance where being “thick” is a positive. This recipe is about me didn’t you know???), chopped.
-2 cups dry white wine (I don’t care at all what kind of wine, but it must be almost as dry as my sense of humor and something you would actually drink. 1. Because you taste the wine in this recipe and we want it to be delicious and 2. Because you will have to do something about the rest of that bottle. We simply can’t let it go to waste! What better to drink with your quahogs right?).
-2 cups low sodium broth (seafood, chicken, veggie it’s dealer’s choice. We just want to make sure we have enough liquid for our stuffing… spoiler alert, we add liquid to our stuffing! God… I’m always spoiling things for you huh? Well tough).
-1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper (remember as a ginger, I like things spicy).
-1/2 tbsp. fresh sage, minced.
-1 tbsp. parsley (fresh or dried. This is a safe space. I’ll let you chose).
-1 onion (finely shopped. Because we only do things in a fine fashion).
-1 tsp. minced garlic (and yes, I am supportive of the stuff in the jar. You know how I feel about garlic fingers by now).
Salt and pepper to taste.
OK kiddos! Let’s get to cooking.
First and foremost. We MUST wash the quahogs. How do we do this??? One word. Flour.
Flour? You ask. Yes. Flour. Wild right?
Fill your sink with cold water and drop the quahogs in.
Add 1-2 tbsp. all-purpose flour to the water and swoosh (super techy techy term right?) around.
Let sit in the water for 20 or so minutes.
When you’re ready to add them to the pot, drain the water and give a quick rinse.
NOTE: I’m gonna tell you why this works but only if you promise not to be weirded out. Promise? OK. So, since the quahogs are alive, they take in water for breathing purposes or something like that… but the flour makes them upset for some reason. I don’t know the actual science. I’m no scientist, I just pretend to know food things. Either way, they spit out the flour along with it, the sand. This may not even be true but it sounds good enough to me…
In a good sized pot (this is one of those times I like to use my fancy Le Cruset Dutch oven… not-so-humble-brag that you probably don’t care about but should), brown the ½ lb. chopped bacon until crispy and set aside both the bacon and some of fat. That’s right we’re living the “setting things aside” dream here kids!).
Leave the rest of the bacon fat in the pan and add the chopped onion, ½ tsp. crushed red pepper, 1 tsp minced garlic, ½ tbsp. sage and the 1 tbsp. parsley. Sautee over medium heat, until onions are soft (like my midsection).
Add in your rinsed quahogs, the 2 cups of delicious white wine and the 2 cups of whatever the hell broth you selected.
Cover and cook over medium heat until your quahogs are open. Keep an eye on them!
NOTE: if the quahog or clam doesn’t open ditch that bitch. It’s no good. (And no I’m not proud of the last sentence but I did make myself laugh out loud and that is what truly matters in this moment).
Move the quahogs to a separate dish and allow to cool completely (you’re gonna need to handle them and you will thank me), leaving behind the broth and all the oniony goodness.
In a large bowl add your bread chunks (my new, new nickname) and the bits of thick-cut bacon.
Using a slotted (a word that cracks me up because I’m a child) spoon, scoop out as much of the herbs and onions and add then into the bread/bacon bowl (YAASSSS alliteration!).
One large spoonful at a time, add enough of the broth to make the stuffing wet but not moooooshy (I tend to use all of it but (as it often does in life) this will depend on the size of your baguette).
SET ASIDE!
Once your quahogs cool enough to handle, carefully pull each one open and remove the meat onto a cutting board.
SET ASIDE!!
Separate each shell halve and clean with a damp paper towel in order to remove any sand or broken shell particles (I promise you skipping this step is a mistake. People’s teeth are precious to them. Let’s keep them in tact… for now).
SET ASIDE!!!
NOTE: This next step is gross. There is no getting around it. You just need to be brave. You can do it!
Chop the quahog meat (which just sounds gross) into small pieces (and I know it doesn’t seem like it would be gross but it sure does feel gross… … … gross…) and add it to your stuffing.
Using your hands (because a spoon just will not work), mix to combine.
Taste a bit to see if salt and pepper are needed and proceed accordingly (I shall trust your judgment so don’t mess this up).
Scoop the stuffing into each shell half (again, hands are best for this).
Brush the top with the reserved bacon fat (because why the hell not?).
Bake in a preheated oven (I trust that you now know to preheat… right???) at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or so, until the top is golden brown and a little crispy but the inside is still (ugh) moist (ugh that word).
Serve with the rest of that wine, if it made it this far and summon the summer sun (more alliteration!!!), before we all wither and die from too much rain!
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