(Because you don’t want to bring boring dip to the 4th of July cook out do you?)
We’re heading into a holiday weekend and as your resident self-proclaimed food blogger (God I irritated myself just writing that), It is up to me to come up with a fun, somewhat gimmicky recipe for you to make in order to impress your pals.
I tried guys. I did. I thought about boozy popsicles and then decided “meh not this time” (oh don’t worry, there are several in the works but we want to treat our boozy recipes with respect and therefor I need more time).
I debated some sort of burger recipe but I did turkey burgers last week and one must not be redundant.
BUT I did make a large Greek inspired dinner earlier this week and my freshly made tzatziki got me the most compliments of anything ever. Since we do this to buy love and to prove our own self-worth I decided “this is perfect!” we thrive on compliments and validation and I’m going to pass along on to you all!
NOTE: I read a Twitter comment this week about how annoying food bloggers are because of the stories they tell before their recipes. So I’m gonna get right to it for your sake (although what I really want to do is just keep talking and never get to the recipe because I’m a bitch that way and if you don’t like my stories you don’t have to read them. BUT I’m not that girl… right now…).
Here is what you need:
-2 and ½ cups of Greek yogurt (whole fat like me) (it also has to be plain… I won’t say “like me” here but I really want to).
-The juice of one lemon (fresh like me).
-1 large cucumber (…not like me…) shredded and drained (we’ll talk about this in a little bit).
-3 or so (hearty like me… haha I’m not hearty I’m a delicate flower damn it!) Tbsp. fresh dill, finely chopped.
-3 cloves (or tsp.) minced garlic (I won’t be mad at you if you add more. The garlic here is glorious… like me!).
-Salt and pepper to taste (this is really going to depend on your preferences and how tangy your yogurt is. I am going to have to trust you not to mess this up. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t scare me a little).
OK. Here are the steps. They are not difficult. You’re fine (like me) (I can’t stop won’t stop!). I swear.
Line a bowl with two paper towels and scoop in the 2 and ½ cups of plain, whole fat Greek yogurt.
Fold the edges over the top of the yogurt and place in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or so.
NOTE: This step is actually optional if you want your dip soggy. I have to be honest here though, I will call you “soggy dip” for the rest of your life… If you can live with that, then I am here for it! I love a weird nickname!
In a food processor (or using a box grater or cheese grater if you have all day because you don’t have a day job and can do these kinds of things… and if this is the case, can I have your life?) shred one whole cucumber (that has been washed and dried because we wash our produce like civilized humans).
Line a bowl with a (clean, yeah I went there) dish towel and put the shredded cucumber on top.
Sprinkle the cucumber with salt and set aside for about 20 minutes (wow what timing, you would almost think I had this timed out on purpose. Full disclosure, I didn’t).
Once the time has elapsed (hopefully with the help some bad-ass montage music) remove the yogurt from the paper towel package (sounds so charming) and put in a bowl.
Take the cucumber (still in the dishtowel) and twist the edges around making a little parcel (like those “olde timey” hobos carry in cartoons… I don’t know if that word is socially acceptable so if I offended you I’m sorry… but by now if that was the first thing to offend you, I think I’m probably killing it).
Squeeze your hobo parcel of cucumber (BAHAHAHAHA) and remove as much moisture as you can from the cucumbers (you may want to do this over the sink. And yes! This step is for you soggy dip!).
Add the cucumber to the Greek yogurt and mix to combine.
Add in the 3 cloves (or tsp.) or more (because you’re wild like that) garlic, the juice of 1 (FRESH) lemon and the 3 tbsp. finely chopped fresh dill. Once again mix.
Give it a taste (you guys. I have said it before and I will say it again, if you are not tasting your food as you go then I hate you and you have let me down. .. OK I don’t hate you, but I am super mad at you).
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Cover and refrigerate for at least an hour and then taste again. As this sits the flavors develop. As the flavors develop you can see if you need more of any of the seasoning. Taste one more time before serving and once again adjust as needed.
NOTE: This gets better the longer it chills (you guessed it, like me) so making a day in advance can only help both it and you because you are not running around shredding cucumber and squeezing hobo parcels 20 minutes before you’re supposed to be at the party.
Drizzle with olive oil (you know the oil I assume you have but didn’t list as an ingredient because in using it as delicious garnish and I am a jerk). Top with a few sprigs of dill for color because we’re fancy pants.
This is good as a dip with pitas, pita chips or veggies. This is REALLY good on chicken or a turkey burger (like the one expertly written on this page last week). This is good on top of salad. This is good with a spoon.
NOTE: add some feta cheese as a topping if you’re feeling sassy. (You’re welcome).
Most importantly, this is fresh, and healthy and delicious and unless you are going to whatever party I am, no one else will bring it.
Even more “most importantly” you’re gonna get SO many compliments and that’s really why we do this after all.
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